I realize that not only have I been cycling through obsessions and compulsions, but judging the content of each cycle. I believe this may be the most demanding element of OCD. I will give an example, so that, maybe you can apply it to your flavor of OCD, and I hope it's helpful.
I have an obsession with the brake pedal in my car. I am constantly obsessing about how the pedal feels under my foot. Is it too hard, too spongy, non-existent? The worst part is that I get somatic (body related) issues related to the obsession (my feet hurt, or anything else that runs the gamut). Though I have been religiously practicing ERP since leaving treatment, I often wondered why I still felt so much angst with the somatic issues.
I realize that the torture comes into play when I judge the somatization: "Why am I feeling this way?", "This is not normal", "This is never going to end". As I drove the car today, I let the somatic issues play out without judging them. Either way, they're there, but I am working very hard to look at them in a different, "less panicky" way.
I have not worked my government job since 2018. I now realize, since that time, I have never worked harder than now. I feel blessed to have such great support, and understand that not everyone has the same. I hope that can change.