"Skills Breakdown Point" is when emotional arousal is so high that you are unable to use your (coping) skills. The following tips should be useful for those "I can't handle it" situations (you can).
Observe and describe that you are at your Skills Breakdown Point
-Your distress is extreme.
-You are overwhelmed.
-You cannot focus your mind on anything but the emotion itself.
-Your mind shuts down; your brain stops processing information.
-You cannot solve problems or use complicated skills.
2. Check the facts. Are you really "falling apart" at this level of distress?
If "no", use your skills.
If yes, try the following steps:
TIP your body chemistry (splash cool water on face or hands; make an ice dunk)
DISTRACT yourself from the emotional events (watch a cute youtube videos with cute puppies)
SELF-SOOTHE using one of the five senses (I can smell that aroma of french vanilla coffee)
IMPROVE the moment you are in (by using steps 1-3)
I find this re-direct recipe is helpful in a pinch, and keep a copy of it nearby.
Please note that the above information was adapted from "DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets"
Best,
David
@Maia Fattahi and I discuss these skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) often!